I feel guilty eating hellp?

im 5'4 a uk size 12/14 toned. when i eat i feel guilty and discusting i actuall repulse myself in what i have done. now im doing the mayple suryp diet. i was thinking about having pickled onions but then i thought to myself, "how disccusting are you" so now im not going to eat at all and just drink mayple suryp and water (beoncye did this) help