My wife is like ice, how do I break the ice?

She has been arguing with me off an on for sometime. Usually how I'm organized, finances, not picking a career, not motivated, not intimate, not healthy, don't make enough money, not taking cles. Basically, she brings everything into the fight. Most of the time I don't talk back. I just swallow all the hurtful crap she says about me. She asked to separate and even a divorce. She beats me up and treats me like crap. Regardless, I can not abandon my family. I am a Jehovahs witness & Im not a bad husband or father. I'm not perfect. I have a good job at a hospital (although it does pay much). I just cant take the ice anymore. I thing she narcissistic with borderline personality disorder. Ofcourse, I can tell her this. I just want her to be nicer to me.