Do I have to be completely insane to be admitted to a mental hospital?

All you have to do to get admitted into a mental institution is go to a psychiatrist for one visit and tell him exactly what you wrote here. But......you're not crazy! You actually realize what you're doing, a crazy person doesn't know the difference. You've just gotta find a way to calm yourself. Lying is a habit, use to be one of mine. Raging is also a habit, that I also use to have. Now, it takes a lot to piss me off. Kids will be your #1 tamer, believe it or not. They teach you patience. Just remember, there is always help out there. Sometimes, in your situation, you can feel like you don't have other options. People like us tend to be cynical in the way that we make ourselves believe that we have few options when in reality, there are so many. Don't give up on yourself, you deserve to be happy and you are capable of being an amazing mother.